Yo mama’s so ugly... II

1. Can I go to bed early?

2. I need some advice.

3. You guys relax and I’ll do the dishes.

4. Can I help you with anything?

5. We don’t need the car we’re walking.

6. Is the music too loud?

7. I hate pizza.

8. Enough MTV, Let’s watch 60 minutes.

9. Keep my allowance this week.

10. No, I don’t want a cell phone.

Have you ever wondered why Disney World is the only people trap operated by a mouse? And why do the alphabet song and ’Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’ have the same tune? Or...

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

2. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would ever eat?

3. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and noone cares, why is there a song about him?

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

6. If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Yo mama’s so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her. Yes, and there couple of other things you should know.

Yo mama’s so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.

Yo mama’s so ugly, she couldn’t get laid in a prison with a handful of pardons.

Yo mama’s so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!

Yo mama’s so ugly, she could scare the flies off a shit wagon.

Yo mama’s so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.

Yo mama’s so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.

Yo mama’s so ugly, her shadow quit.

Yo mama’s so ugly, her shadow ran away from her.

Yo mama’s so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her.

Yo mama’s so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.

Yo mama’s so ugly, she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the fuck?!?!"

Yo mama’s so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.

Yo mama’s so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"

Yo mama’s so ugly, she hurt my feelings.

Yo mama’s so ugly, Rice Krispies won’t talk to her.

Yo mama’s so ugly, she’d scare the monster out of Loch Ness.

Yo mama’s so ugly, her pillow cries at night.

Yo mama’s so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.

Yo mama’s so ugly, people make jokes about her.

Yo mama’s so ugly, I can’t even make a joke out of it.

Yo mama’s so ugly, she climbed the ugly ladder and didn’t miss a step.

Yo mama’s so ugly, Yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.

Yo mama’s so ugly, she didn’t get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the ugly log.

Yo mama’s so ugly, she didn’t get hit with the ugly stick, she ran through the whole damn forest.

Yo mama’s so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.

And no, that’s not all... I am starting to think that you begin to like it... or am I wrong?